1 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,042 (GIVE UP PLAYING) 2 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,380 mother told me 3 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,740 Yes, she told me 4 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,820 That I would meet girls like you 5 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,460 she also told me 6 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:31,043 Absent You'll never know what you'll catch 7 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,206 (Tires screeching) 8 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,740 Cooper, it's open. 9 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,780 Is it open? 10 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,927 Come on! 11 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,165 It's supposed to be fantastic. 12 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,660 - COOPER: Thank you. - Hey, give me back my room, little guy! 13 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,125 Mother! 14 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,860 They just seem a little weird. 15 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,740 Give up, give up 16 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:02,370 But don't give yourself away 17 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,900 What happened to everyone this season? 18 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,082 Losers of the year? 19 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,900 Every time I started to think 20 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,340 Where did they disappear? 21 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,540 But when I woke up, mom and dad 22 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:42,140 They're rolling on the couch 23 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,241 Damn. 24 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,441 That? 25 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,721 I stink. 26 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,980 Mommy is fine, daddy is fine 27 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,700 They just seem a little weird. 28 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,801 COOPER: Wow, Sam. 29 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,380 How are you so good at this? You haven't even played it before. 30 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,606 I don't know. 31 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,887 There is a pattern to how they move. Look. 32 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,645 I don't see it, but you sure do. 33 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,126 away 34 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,700 Give up, give up 35 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,700 But don't give yourself away 36 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,660 Give up, give up 37 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,860 But don't give yourself away 38 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,487 - Use the Force. Use the Force. - (Mechanical hand buzz) 39 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,642 (APPLAUSE) 40 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,880 BRENNER: Hello, Chewie. 41 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,500 COOPER: You're a superstar, man. 42 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,409 And it's time to show it to the world. 43 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,100 Give up 44 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,900 But don't give yourself away 45 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,322 Give up, give up 46 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,220 But don't give yourself away 47 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,860 00:07:26,140 Dude, you're a kid, make a big noise. 109 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,340 playing in the street one day I will be a great man 110 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,980 You have mud on your face Your great misfortune 111 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,900 Kicking your can everywhere 112 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:41,300 - Singing - We will, we will shake you. 113 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,644 We will, we will rock you 114 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,048 You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is, 115 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:57,006 At higher levels the barrels become More random, almost possessed. 116 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,740 And playing with the patterns it doesn't work anymore. 117 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,100 Is that so, Brenner? 118 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,364 We will, we will rock you 119 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,327 Congratulations. 120 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,921 Coming in second place! 121 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,441 (Crowd cheering) 122 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,020 Fire Blaster is the world champion! 123 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,540 The local redneck looked at fate. in the eye and blinked. 124 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,140 he is a loser, and he will always be a loser. 125 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,540 Sam! 126 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,380 Sam, Sam, wait. 127 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,460 Sam, listen. 128 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,980 You're still going to MIT 129 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,060 and invent something that makes you a millionaire. 130 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,242 And maybe even marry Olivia Newton-John. 131 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,500 I was actually thinking about Samantha Fox. 132 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,443 Okay, but she's not Sheena Easton. 133 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,700 Well, 134 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,484 There's always Madonna. 135 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,500 How about Scarlett Johansson? 136 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,660 How hot. 137 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,660 Hmm. Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot. 138 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,046 And don't forget Katy Perry. 139 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,780 What are we doing now? We are too old. It's already disgusting. 140 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,420 Also, you are married to a woman. who hates you 141 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,126 She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know? 142 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,660 We don't have free time to do things. together like we did 10 years ago. 143 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,300 This job is killing me, man. 144 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,340 If I were you, 145 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,340 maybe half an hour a day, turn off the cell phone, 146 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,900 close emails, save the Reggie bars 147 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,060 and focus on your wife. 148 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,686 FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR: The President The bug-filled summer continued today... 149 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,860 Wait a second. I have to see this. 150 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,620 ...at Joseph Knibb Elementary School to promote their new youth reading initiative. 151 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:39,780 This is what happened. 152 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:44,260 "Mittens jumped on the table and knocked over the entire bowl of soup. 153 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,860 "Mrs. Pickles gasped... She gasped." 154 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,961 She gasped. 155 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,580 - (CLEARS THROAT) - “And the whole room was silent. 156 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,300 "This was chaste... 157 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,561 "This is done... (CLEARS THROAT) 158 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,050 "Catatastrophic." 159 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,260 Catastrophic. 160 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,850 I got it, baby, okay? 161 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,580 Why did you yell at me? 162 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:02,780 You are bad. 163 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,086 Leave her alone. 164 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,564 The president doesn't know how to read. 165 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,763 (LAUGHING GIRLS) 166 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,900 (LAUGH) 167 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,100 You have to learn to read, friend. It's as simple as that. 168 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,860 (GUARDS LAUGHING) 169 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,980 (THE RIVER STOPS) 170 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,242 I slept three hours, okay? 171 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,860 WOMAN: Your economy They are hurting the poor! 172 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,020 How good to see you! 173 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,540 MAN: You have the blood of innocent children in your hands. 174 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,620 Thank you for your support. 175 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,700 I can't afford to go to university because of you! 176 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,780 - (CROWD MOCKING) - It's a beautiful dress. 177 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,884 - You're ruining the country! - Yes, now we are all in this together. 178 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,460 You have a hard life, friend. 179 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,971 - Mister? Well. - Thank you. 180 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:39,780 But at least you have a life. 181 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,220 Look, Brenner, you're destined for something more than this. 182 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,926 You just need to channel your genius. into something productive. 183 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,300 I mean, you were amazing. in video games in the past, 184 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,140 but that's a useless skill now. 185 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,844 It's like being a great blacksmith. 186 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,140 Oh! That hurts, man. It's catastrophic that you said that. 187 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,685 I'm going to get you back for that. 188 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,460 Mr. President, If you remove all the libraries, sir, 189 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,449 What will the children be like? Have you ever learned to read? 190 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,780 (THE JOKING INTENSIFIED) 191 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,087 Blacksmith, over and out. 192 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,125 (BELL RINGING) 193 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,860 Hello. I'm a nerd from the Nerd Brigade. 194 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,089 here for nerd for all your audio and visual needs. 195 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,700 Do you have to say that? Every time you show up at a house? 196 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,540 If I want to get paid, yes. 197 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,100 Isn't that kind of degrading? 198 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,690 Only if someone mentions it. 199 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,128 - Okay, then I won't mention it. - Thank you. 200 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,766 Come in. 201 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,740 So what am I installing? 202 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,860 (CENTURIES) A new 85-inch 4K 3D TV, 203 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,660 - PlayStation 4, speakers with 7.1 surround sound. - Mmm-hmm. 204 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,540 Seriously, if you sell it, We probably bought it. 205 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,420 Hey. Is it your birthday? 206 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:13,965 No, my parents are getting divorced. 207 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,100 Oh. So it's like 10 birthdays. 208 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,500 Yes, my dad cheated on my mom. with her 19-year-old Pilates instructor. 209 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,340 His name is Sinnamon, with an "S" 210 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,841 what it really tells you everything you need to know about her. 211 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,220 No, I could listen a little more. Do you have any photos? 212 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,740 I'm kidding. I'm sorry to hear that. 213 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,500 My mom hates it right now. 214 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,220 And she says she's going to invent a missile in search of whores to eliminate Sinnamon. 215 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,370 It's okay, Matty, you don't need to say it. the kind installer all our lives. 216 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,121 Oh. 217 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,044 Sorry, "Wow"? 218 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,580 - That? - No, just you. Oh. 219 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,220 Me? Oh? I don't even know what that means. 220 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,645 I mean, it's just that when your son told me that your husband left you for a 19-year-old girl, 221 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,380 I guess I thought you were going to be like 222 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,860 one of those "hot when we met in high school, 223 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,010 "but then he got carried away and I have a turkey belly and neck 224 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,451 "with a hairy chin." 225 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,660 But clearly that is not the case. 226 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,100 Rather, 227 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,660 "Wow, I should have brushed my teeth." before leaving home this morning." 228 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,060 Or studio apartment, Yes we are getting real here. 229 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,401 really Don't you brush your teeth this morning? 230 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,206 No, I did it. 231 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,487 I guess I should start Preparing this right now. 232 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,331 Go find them. 233 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,321 (TSKS) 234 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,481 (LAUGHTER) 235 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,300 Colonel Devereux. 236 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,084 You need to see this, sir. 237 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,291 We are under attack. 238 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,647 (SOLDIER CLAYING) 239 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,804 What the hell are those things? 240 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,364 So you're a gamer? 241 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,220 Oh... 242 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,380 Yes. 243 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,528 I played when I was your age. 244 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,460 Were you good? 245 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,660 I was pretty good in some of the classic games. 246 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,420 Hmm. Classics. You mean Halo and Call of Duty. 247 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,727 No! The true classics. 248 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,900 Defender, Pac-Man, Asteroids. 249 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,860 Games you played in an arcade. 250 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,380 that it was a building outside from your house. 251 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,340 You would go there with your friends, Listening to music, pretty girls everywhere. 252 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,091 In ancient times, They called it "socializing." 253 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,326 What are they talking about? 254 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,211 - Video games. - Video games. 255 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,641 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - (LAUGHTER) 256 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,687 I'll be back. 257 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,060 - (KNOCKS ON THE DOOR) - BRENNER: Mrs. Van Patten. 258 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,740 It all ended down there. 259 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,820 I need you to sign the work order. 260 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,967 VIOLET: (FAILING VOICE) It's okay. 261 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,620 Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet? 262 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,881 Yes. 263 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,404 without judging, but what are you doing in the closet? 264 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,810 Mostly I'm crying. 265 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,450 A little drink. 266 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,700 Probably crying and drinking in equal measure. 267 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,580 Something I do often too. 268 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,523 But why in the closet? 269 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,500 Because I don't want Matty to see me. 270 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,329 (SOOTHING) 271 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,844 I'm going to go into the closet. Mrs. Van Patten. 272 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,209 I'm opening the door. 273 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,690 Are you OK? 274 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,180 I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet drinking Chardonnay in a sippy cup. 275 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,820 So I guess not. 276 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,207 I'm sorry. I withdraw the question. 277 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,002 00:26:31,241 That seems to be working for him, 474 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,060 because he just drove that ball in the hole with force. 475 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,740 COMMENTATOR taken out for a ball, 1-0, 476 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,020 and it was 1-0... 477 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,121 - Brenner! - (SCREAMS) 478 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,401 (TIRES SQUEAL) 479 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,660 (MOAN) 480 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,580 What's your problem, friend? 481 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,300 - What's happening? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 482 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,420 No, Brenner! 483 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,140 No, Brenner, no, no, no! 484 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,005 Arrest! It's me! It's me! It's Ludlow! I'm Ludlow. 485 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,140 - Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Boy Wonder? - Yes. 486 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,287 How did you get into my truck? 487 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,100 I've been there ever since You went to that pretty lady's house. 488 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,260 She's cute, by the way. 489 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,361 - That? - Hey! 490 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,844 - What's that? - This is moisturizing. 491 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,645 Show me what that is. 492 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,166 Chloroform? 493 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,620 Is that what it says? 494 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,100 Were you going to drug me? 495 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,220 - Only as a last resort. - What are you going to... 496 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,051 - There was something I had to tell you. - Why didn't you call me then? 497 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,860 Because the CIA has been tapping my phones 498 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,740 since I found out The Zapruder film has been edited. 499 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,604 JFK shot first! 500 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,407 Ludlow, it's you! 501 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,900 - Hi, friend! Let me look at you! - Hey! Good to see you, boy! 502 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,980 How are you? My God! Look at you! 503 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,060 - I know. - Stay fit! 504 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,260 I am following an exclusively protein-based diet. but I'm also doing carbs. 505 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,010 - Good. - But seriously, Brenner. 506 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,900 There's something I have to show you. 507 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,020 And let's just say 508 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,724 (Whispering) is a turning point. 509 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,980 LUDLOW: You're the first guest. I have had here. Voluntarily. 510 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,286 That's a surprise. 511 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,169 If Lady Lisa were real, 512 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,380 she would have approximately You have been issued 17 restraining orders. 513 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,660 Actually, I think if she were real, 514 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,524 things could just happen a little different. 515 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,140 - Hmm? - Do you want to know how I know that? 516 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,580 - Hmm. - If she were real. 517 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,682 A written and illustrated book. by Ludlow Lamonsoff. 518 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,847 Oh, boy. 519 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:26,600 00:29:16,331 You're crazy? 541 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,980 You cookie! 542 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,809 - Don't yell at me! - (The door slams) 543 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,300 Look, I know that sometimes people Think of me as a conspiracy nut. 544 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,401 Good. 545 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,100 But sometimes, Brenner, sometimes 546 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,202 Conspiracies are real. 547 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,740 Have you been playing Space Invaders? much lately? 548 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,921 Have. How did you know that? 549 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,849 Because you're invading my space. Back. 550 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,340 Brenner, do you remember? when we were children, 551 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,820 and we play in that video game championship? 552 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,729 Of course, friend. 553 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,700 Do you remember how there was a tape of the event 554 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,980 and all the games that were played which was then put in a capsule 555 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,700 and shot out into the universe 556 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,140 - Looking for extraterrestrial life? - Mmm-hmm. 557 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,404 I have reason to believe that some extraterrestrial life force found that tape 558 00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:00,020 and has sent real life versions of what they saw 559 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,360 to attack us. 560 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,980 Brenner, I spent the day on 4chan. 561 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,900 searching for messages of the aliens to prove my theory. 562 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,889 - And do you want to know something? - Tell me. 563 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,565 I arrived absolutely empty. 564 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,060 So, as a distraction, I got up. 565 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,660 to try to watch an episode of One Tree Hill which I recorded on my VCR last night. 566 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,220 I've been binge watching to catch up. 567 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,140 And you don't have cable because... 568 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,100 Because the government spies on us through our cable boxes, Brenner. 569 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,340 That has been demonstrated. 570 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,140 And you don't want to be seen dancing around 571 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,860 in underwear for Lady Lisa. I understand. 572 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,486 No, that tape was burned. three months ago. Anyway... 573 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,140 In the middle of UHF transmission, 574 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,500 something peculiar interrupted Sophia Bush's sexy antics. 575 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,250 No, you're the weirdo with the fat one... 576 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,166 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) 577 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,409 Inhabitants of the Earth, 578 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,366 We are a race from the planet Volula. 579 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,260 We came to you In these familiar forms of the Earth 580 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,408 to inform you that we received your boat. 581 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,780 And in it, your hostile challenge. 582 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,860 We accept your offer to compete. in battles where the winner takes all. 583 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:06,682 Gather your bravest warriors To confront our bravest warriors! 584 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,700 The winner takes the loser's planet. 585 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,609 You have already lost the first battle. 586 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,121 And for our victory, We have taken a trophy. 587 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,050 I'm fine, mom. 588 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,171 I love you. 589 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,804 That's not the real Madonna! 590 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,660 You will get three lives. 591 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,100 You have two lives left. 592 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,260 Losing both will lead to the total destruction of your planet. 593 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,660 The next battle is in 15 hours. 594 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,287 (VOICE DISTORTION) at the coordinates 27° 24' 79". 595 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,100 00:33:24,046 (MAN SINGING IN THE STYLE REALLY IN HINDI) 636 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,884 Do you want to marry me? 637 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,041 - (SHOUTING) - (EXPLOSION) 638 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,363 (BREATHING HARD) 639 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,681 (gasps) 640 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,248 (STRIDENT) 641 00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:11,580 Don't worry about the whole Taj Mahal thing. 642 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,540 It's probably better that there are only even six wonders of the world now. 643 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,220 You know what? I understand it. I ruined it. 644 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:17,940 It won't happen again. Shut your mouth. 645 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,530 Good morning, Mr. President. 646 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,484 What is Radio Shack Robbie doing here? and this other 647 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:24,700 friend. 648 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,940 Hello. Ludlow Lamonsoff. 649 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,900 In fact, we've met before, but you wouldn't remember 650 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,049 because it was in the back of Brenner's truck and I was looking at you through a window. 651 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,688 (SNIFFS) You smell so good, like the Book of Genesis. 652 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,060 Mr. Lamonsoff and Mr. Brenner 653 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,140 They have agreed to share their video game experience with you and your team. 654 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,220 Happy to do it. 655 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,380 With all due respect, sir, 656 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,660 have civilians with zero security Authorization at this facility is... 657 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,900 These civilians have a better view of our current crisis 658 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,570 than my entire administration. 659 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,100 I don't know if I want to do it now. She's being so mean. 660 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,300 - I kind of want to leave. - Well. 661 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,129 - If he leaves, I'll leave. We are a team. - Enough. 662 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,900 - Will it be like this all the time? - Guys, enough is enough. Lead the way. 663 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,206 Of course, Mr. President. 664 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:02,850 00:36:31,850 - Why are we fighting? - To win! 696 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,500 - When do we leave it? - Never! 697 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,340 - What do we train for? - War! 698 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,060 - Why are we fighting? - To win! 699 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,340 - When do we leave it? - Never! 700 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:44,162 Maybe our new expert advisors I would like to say a few words to the SEALs. 701 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,921 Oh, boy. 702 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,860 Men, you have served this nation. with distinction, 703 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:55,000 in combat zones, in every corner and nooks and crannies of this God-forsaken world, 704 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,329 defeating every enemy they have thrown you 705 00:36:58,640 --> 00:36:59,721 00:41:04,060 (STUTTERS) What did she say? 799 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,380 First of all, she asked where the meat was. 800 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,460 Then he said the next battle. It was on tomorrow at dusk. 801 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,060 5130' 29" latitude. 09' 42" longitude. 802 00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:14,207 Where is that? 803 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,605 Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Move! 804 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:43,681 (grunts) 805 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,445 Clear the area! 806 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,500 All of you, let's go! Move! 807 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,180 I said, move! 808 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,820 - What is all this then, friend? - Hey, I have this. Hello. 809 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,180 We are Americans. 810 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,340 Our Navy SEALs received permission for his government 811 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,260 prepare for an extraterrestrial invasion, 812 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,842 what we think will happen in these coordinates in approximately 60 minutes. 813 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,166 We're filming a beer commercial. 814 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,648 Oh, sure, then. So, break a leg, okay? 815 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,340 Wait, wait, wait. What was that, man? Why did you lie to him? 816 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,125 I'm trying not to cause Total panic, Yankee. 817 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:21,961 And you... 818 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,522 I don't want to listen another word from you. Alright? 819 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:29,965 You're a walking sausage coat. 820 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,802 What is a sausage coat? 821 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,648 (SIRENS at full volume) 822 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:40,041 Madam Prime Minister, I cannot thank you enough for your cooperation in this. 823 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,700 But of course, Will. 824 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,060 Well, I trust in concord. of our powers 825 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,891 We can waste the jiggery-pokery of these pests 826 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,809 and send them running back 827 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,180 to the divided firmament Where did they come from? 828 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,281 I know right? 829 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,160 Accepted! 830 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,321 (Laughing) 831 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,004 (GENTLY) I have no idea what he just said. 832 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,008 I just want to touch it. 833 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:07,770 Easy with those light cannons, gentlemen. We don't have backups. 834 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,580 Will these ray guns work, Van Patten? 835 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,060 We had no way of testing them in the field, sir. 836 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,740 But our computer models show a high probability of effectiveness. 837 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,460 "High probability"? You are sending my men into battle with untested artillery? 838 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,723 I had two days to do things. It's never been done before on this planet, sir. 839 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,521 Just remember Who are you talking to, miss. 840 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:26,580 HILL: Okay! 841 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:31,208 Anyone who doesn't need to be here, Follow me to the support area. 842 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,690 That means you two are tongue twisters. 843 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,567 Move! 844 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,206 Hello, colonel. Don't worry. They are going to work. 845 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,780 The US military was attacked. And what does President Cooper do? 846 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,020 His critics say: "Nothing." 847 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,260 That's not strictly true. He made a cake. 848 00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,283 No, because I'm the spreader monster! 849 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,084 - You are my leisure monster! - (growling) 850 00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:57,287 (COOPER Laughing on TV) 851 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,721 - Let's put that on hold, Sean. - Thank you. 852 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,051 - Turn it off. - (CLEARS THROAT) 853 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:05,891 Apologies, Will. 854 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,020 I just wanted to have a nice time. with the wife. 855 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,500 Oh, I understand. 856 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,620 In fact, my husband said no. spend time together like we used to, 857 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:18,460 so I took him to one of those, um, DIY pottery workshops. 858 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:22,406 And it made me the "sexiest in the world." "Prime Minister" coffee mug. 859 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,810 Well, maybe I'll see something Nobody else does it, you know. (LAUGHTER) 860 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,401 (clears throat) 861 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,602 Anything, Colonel Van Patten? 862 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,321 It's eerily quiet, Mr. President. 863 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:43,980 In case it's Space Invaders, 864 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,081 I just thought of something I should say... 865 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,009 Please return to the support area! 866 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,260 Okay, but there is a 5 plus 1 formation. is it okay? 867 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,842 If we need you, we know where to find you. Alright? 868 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,325 Now, fuck you. 869 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,291 Damn geek. 870 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,050 It's a centipede. 871 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,740 Okay guys! do exactly What are we talking about! 872 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,060 Shoot each centipede upside down! 873 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:53,051 Don't hit him in the middle Or it will split into two! 874 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,180 No! No! Didn't we just say Don't cut it in half? 875 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:13,460 Headshot! 876 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,688 Mushrooms are on the way! 877 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,888 You shoot the mushrooms! I like the game! 878 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,121 Guys, every time a mushroom hits, It's going to change direction! 879 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,420 My God! Could you find the pattern? and anticipate! 880 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,540 I don't know the patterns! 881 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,483 Sergeant Duff! 12 o'clock! 882 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:37,721 (growling) 883 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,445 (MOAN) 884 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,641 (gasps) 885 00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,006 (growling) 886 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,246 what kind of hell Is this the beer commercial? 887 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:58,408 If I say it's a beer commercial, It's a fucking beer commercial. 888 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,410 Get your flabby ass over here, Yankee! 889 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,340 - (ALL CHEERING) - Shock and awe, baby! 890 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,180 High score, alien trash! 891 00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,740 You messed with the wrong planet! 892 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,820 From Land's End to John o'Groats! 893 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,366 - What the hell are you saying? - I don't know! 894 00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:43,220 (BRENNER growls) 895 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:47,260 Hi Ludlow! Take a light cannon! Get out of here now! I need your help! 896 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,860 Me? No! Look at me! I look delicious! 897 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,420 They'll devour me like a space dim sum! 898 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,521 00:50:10,081 Your little... (grunts) 939 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,580 Who are you, sir? 940 00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:25,650 Son I'm just a loser Who's good at old video games? 941 00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,441 Well, thank God for that. 942 00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:30,961 - Drinks are on the US government! - (ALL CHEERING) 943 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,860 that is covering up the truth 944 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,440 about the ancient pyramid Below the Hoover Dam! 945 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,100 You know, you're fine, Brenner. 946 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,123 You're fine too, snob. 947 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,860 You're going to take care of that all night. Or when are you going to start hitting him? 948 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,361 We took out some foreign belligerents, the beer is fine. 949 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,660 We defeated a total alien invasion, 950 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,604 I'm thinking something a little stronger. 951 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:55,580 - Mmm-hmm. - No. 952 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,860 You're really challenging me To drink under the table? 953 00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:58,900 - You got it. - Oh! 954 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,968 I'm not so sure you can, friend. 955 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,780 I was the record holder for vodka drink in my class at West Point. 956 00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,100 Well I once drank 15 milkshakes at Denny's, 957 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,884 so we'll see what happens. 958 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,540 - Where are my players, huh? - 00:52:08,206 Let's get back to work. 978 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,140 We gotta catch you guys Ready for your next battle. 979 00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:11,620 Battle? To us? Huh? 980 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:13,290 Is this something normal now? 981 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,210 Remember when I told you that? Were you destined for something more in life? 982 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,540 Yes. 983 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,300 This could be it, friend. 984 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,300 There is no one better than you. 985 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,380 LUDLOW: Well, 986 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,881 (INHALES sharply) not in every game. 987 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,131 No, no! It will never happen. 988 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:30,406 You know, he's right, Brenner. 989 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,080 We don't even know Where to find that idiot! 990 00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:35,283 (SIRENS HOWLING) 991 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,140 VIOLET: Eddie Plant. Married and divorced four times, 992 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:43,740 It declared bankruptcy in 1991 and 2004. 993 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,140 In 2005 he was captured. hack cell phone companies 994 00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,481 and adding one of those rates you see on your bill every month, 995 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,260 - but I have no idea what it is. - What an idiot. 996 00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:52,460 He earned around 50 million. before being found guilty and sentenced 997 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,449 to 20 years in prison. 998 00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,740 Guards, get me out of here. 999 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,220 It's that evil centipede killer. 1000 00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,500 I hope it doesn't hit me with his space weapon. 1001 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,060 How are you, Eddie? 1002 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,020 'Sup, second place? 1003 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,380 Oh! And your companion here, 1004 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,766 Presi-donut. 1005 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,380 I didn't know you could have such a catastrophic approval rating. 1006 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,340 - Okay, look, Eddie, this is what we need. - EDDIE: I know what you need. 1007 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,540 You need the Fire Blaster. 1008 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:24,900 Who is the Fire Blaster? 1009 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,731 Me. That's my nickname, sugar buns. 1010 00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,580 Oh yes. That's how it is. The one you invented yourself. 1011 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,220 Yes. Who cares who invented it? 1012 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,900 It's totally tubular! 1013 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:34,980 Yes. 1014 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:40,060 See, that's why I don't believe I can have Brenner on my team. 1015 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,700 He's just not really a player. 1016 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,460 He pulls out a bag of quarters. Choose a game. I will destroy you on that. 1017 00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:46,528 Oh, I'll pick a game, okay. 1018 00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,126 (TURN) 1019 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,380 - Good. Leave. - No, no, no. Hey, come on, let's go. 1020 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:52,561 Feel. 1021 00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:55,380 Okay, in exchange for helping us, 1022 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,326 I will speak to the parole board personally. about reducing his sentence. 1023 00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:04,642 - Approve. - Approve? 1024 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,100 That deal doesn't work for Eddie Plant. 1025 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,488 You want the help of the Fire Blaster, It has some demands. 1026 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,080 Demands? 1027 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:22,402 By the way, the Bifocal Blaster is here. 1028 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:27,660 I want an island. 1029 00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:28,900 Oh my god. 1030 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,820 There are 18,617 named islands. 1031 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,420 which are part of the united states and their territories. 1032 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,740 Not to mention all the nameless countless, 1033 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,684 like the one soon to be called Edwahii. 1034 00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:42,565 Hmm. You won't get an island. 1035 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,500 So I want total forgiveness. I want to get out of here forever. 1036 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,524 And after doing it, I don't want to pay taxes like, 1037 00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:50,700 forever. 1038 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,860 And no sales tax. If I want to buy something, for example, chewing gum, 1039 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,700 I want to show me a card that says "I saved the world." 1040 00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,929 I don't have to pay There are no fucking taxes on gum. 1041 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,260 And I want a stealth attack helicopter. like they were flying over the super bowl 1042 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,340 at my disposal, at all times. 1043 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,124 You know, so I can fly. 1044 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:12,562 If the world is still here, I don't want to deal with traffic anymore. 1045 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,171 And finally, 1046 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,847 I want you to configure a romantic date 1047 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,300 between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart 1048 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,860 in the Lincoln bedroom. 1049 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:29,124 Number one. You're not getting a helicopter or any type of flying or driving vehicle. 1050 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,561 Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government 1051 00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,140 You could do without your income taxes and be well. 1052 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:38,740 And number three. If you help us overcome these things, 1053 00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,808 I think we can get you out of here. 1054 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,526 And the Martha-Serena sandwich? 1055 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,060 Choose one of them. We will prepare a coffee. 1056 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:48,924 Serena Williams. And we are closed. 1057 00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:51,321 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 1058 00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:53,921 Hello? 1059 00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,691 I understand. 1060 00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,020 It's happening tonight. 1061 00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,180 Where? 1062 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:02,281 New York City. 1063 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,580 Oh! Fuhgedd about this! 1064 00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,650 Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Laughing) 1065 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,020 Hello, Big Apple. 1066 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,851 - The cavalry has arrived. - (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1067 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,060 Thanks for coming. 1068 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,260 We saw how you took care of the centipedes. 1069 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,060 We hope you can do the same for us. 1070 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,845 We hope so too. Well, what are we dealing with? 1071 00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,851 Here. 1072 00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,729 Rookie, tell them what you saw. 1073 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,580 It was horrible. 1074 00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:59,180 It was like one of those monster movies. You know? 1075 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:00,340 but this time 1076 00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,940 (Whispering) the monster was real. 1077 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,963 And who was this monster? 1078 00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:06,740 Pac-Man. 1079 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,740 Pac-Man? Boom. That's my problem. 1080 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,740 Let's get some light cannons. and hit back at this fool 1081 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,260 to the planet where it came from. 1082 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,740 No! No, light cannons. Don't kill Pac-Man. 1083 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:16,300 Those little ghosts do. 1084 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,780 Boom! Let's get some little ghosts. 1085 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,484 Do you want ghosts? 1086 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,530 It has ghosts. 1087 00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,420 We use the energy force field. cube technology 1088 00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,420 develop four minigenerators for each of the cars. 1089 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:39,487 Ghosts. 1090 00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:42,860 We call them XM950 attack modules. 1091 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,500 - (WHISTLES) - Okay and we'll call them Mini Ghosts. 1092 00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,060 because we will never remember what you just said. 1093 00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,481 Why are there four? There are only three of us. Who is our room? 1094 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,402 Can I introduce you? Professor Toru Iwatani. 1095 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,564 The creator of Pac-Man. 1096 00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:02,561 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 1097 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,140 Do you speak Japanese? 1098 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,571 No. 1099 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:17,940 Lord, what an honor. 1100 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,327 Thanks for all the joy you brought into our lives. 1101 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:21,880 Awesome. 1102 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,565 I made your game my bitch. 1103 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,100 What is a 1104 00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:32,420 "bitch"? 1105 00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,124 Don't worry about that. He is a criminal. 1106 00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:39,540 (SEAT BELT CLICK) 1107 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,540 - Are you okay? - Yes. 1108 00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:44,980 Okay, now, assuming you follow the rules. of the game like they did with Centipede, 1109 00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,926 if they hit Pac-Man three times With this energy field, we win. 1110 00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,163 Ludlow is right. You smell good. 1111 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:54,810 - Good luck. - Yes. 1112 00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,487 (SIRENS HOWLING) 1113 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,820 Gentlemen, I will be sending Pac-Man current coordinates 1114 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,604 to each of your car's GPS. 1115 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,131 Let's locate and delete. 1116 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:17,606 Come on, guys. 1117 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,730 (PEOPLE CLAYING) 1118 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,244 (Tires screeching) 1119 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,002 Is Pac-Man a bad boy? 1120 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,801 (THE MAN grunts) 1121 00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:45,849 Pac-Man is not bad! 1122 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,842 I created it to bring joy to all the people of the world. 1123 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,206 You've been brainwashed! 1124 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:57,651 Deep down, he is kind, gentle. 1125 00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,202 Someone you can tell your problems to. or have a burger with. 1126 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:08,880 You'll see. 1127 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,420 Professor Iwatani, get back in the car! 1128 01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,460 Professor Iwatani, what are you doing? 1129 01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,006 I'll talk to him. He is my son! 1130 01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,491 No, that's a bad idea. 1131 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,525 Hello, 1132 01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,208 my sweet little boy. 1133 01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:36,003 Look how big you've grown! 1134 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,569 I'm very proud of you. 1135 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,367 It's so sweet. It's so sweet. 1136 01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:45,620 But all these destructive things you are doing, 1137 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,006 It's wrong. 1138 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,444 I am your father. 1139 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:54,760 I know 1140 01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:56,406 you are a good boy. 1141 01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:01,921 (BEEP) 1142 01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:03,980 (STRIDENT) 1143 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,206 Nope! 1144 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,364 Someone kill this stupid bitch! 1145 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:16,761 That was kind of twisted. Pinocchio and Geppetto stuff right there. 1146 01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:19,601 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 1147 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:21,291 Alright, losers! 1148 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,491 - It's three against one. - (ENGINE ACCELERATING) 1149 01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:24,921 Let's give it. 1150 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,290 (Tires screeching) 1151 01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:46,961 (STRIDENT) 1152 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,802 Pac-Man is faster than I remember. 1153 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,300 Pac-Man has always been faster than ghosts. 1154 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:04,562 We'll have to outsmart his ass. 1155 01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:10,201 (forced grunts) 1156 01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:17,363 EDDIE: Wonder, You and Silver Medal separate. 1157 01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:20,488 I'll stick with Big Yellow. 1158 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,163 (GAME PING) 1159 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,482 VIOLET: Wow, Eddie, How did you do that so quickly? 1160 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:28,523 Because I am the champion Lieutenant Long Legs. 1161 01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:31,041 01:03:16,050 Eddie, at the next intersection, Turn left. 1178 01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:18,260 LUDLOW: We got it! 1179 01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,203 He has nowhere to go! 1180 01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:23,561 (Tires screeching) 1181 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,127 Oh God. No! 1182 01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:29,300 "Oh, God. No," what? 1183 01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,660 He ate the power ball. 1184 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,127 Pac-Man has 10 seconds where it can eat us. 1185 01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:37,885 Why me? 1186 01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:47,420 Oh, God. Don't eat me, Don't eat me, don't eat me. 1187 01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:48,931 Please, please, don't eat me! 1188 01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,206 01:04:43,801 How the hell did it get there? Over there so fast? 1203 01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,841 Way to go, champ. 1204 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,367 Aren't you glad you freed me? Second place? 1205 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:51,500 Yes, excited. 1206 01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,206 One more to go and it's happy hour. 1207 01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,531 So I guess they'll leave me here. 1208 01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,161 Now comes the time for the hat-trick. 1209 01:05:22,320 --> 01:05:23,731 (STRIDENT) 1210 01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:28,327 Wow! 1211 01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:30,300 Brenner, it's up to you. 1212 01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,940 There are still three more Power balls out there. 1213 01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,530 So stay alert. 1214 01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:35,801 I have this. 1215 01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:37,900 If I don't do it, 1216 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:39,684 the world is ending. 1217 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:41,365 I can't let that happen. 1218 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,682 Come on, Brenner. Come on. 1219 01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:47,371 (Tires screeching) 1220 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:52,220 Brenner, he is guiding you directly. towards one of the power pellets. 1221 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:53,765 Get out of there. 1222 01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:56,641 (BRAKES SQUEAKING) 1223 01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:02,681 One. 1224 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:04,361 What the hell is he doing? 1225 01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:06,780 Two. 1226 01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:10,140 VIOLET: Damn it, Brenner. I have a son who I would like to see grow up. 1227 01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,049 Three. You will see your child grow. 1228 01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:16,420 Four. 1229 01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,251 Brenner, get out! It's going to eat you! 1230 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:22,447 Five. 1231 01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:26,001 Six. 1232 01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:29,087 Seven. 1233 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,326 Eight. 1234 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:34,841 Nine. 1235 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:41,247 Ten. 1236 01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:48,761 - 01:07:35,940 LUDLOW: Hey guys! 1247 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,820 I'm sorry. Passing. I am one of the heroes of tonight. I'm sorry. 1248 01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,001 Hey! 1249 01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:41,367 (GENTLY) Hey. 1250 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,200 Take a look. 1251 01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:46,925 I think I might have found our next trophy. 1252 01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:50,603 (MUSKING) 1253 01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:52,651 It's Q*bert. 1254 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:55,007 Yes, I know! I know. 1255 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:57,100 Can I kill him? 1256 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,326 No! 1257 01:07:58,480 --> 01:08:01,563 Let's get to know him a little. Ask him some questions. 1258 01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:02,900 And then we will kill him. 1259 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,047 Huh? 1260 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:07,411 - I'm kidding. Just put the blanket on him. - Q*BERT: Goodbye. 1261 01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:08,940 - Mr. President! - Mr. President! 1262 01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:10,260 - Yes, Hal. - HAL: Mr. President, 1263 01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:13,900 His approval ratings have tripled. since this crisis began. 1264 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:17,020 Do you feel the until now? blood causation 1265 01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:19,327 are following towards An auspicious outcome? 1266 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,580 REPORTER: Oh, shut up, Hal. 1267 01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,445 You're just using big words. to try to make him look like an idiot. 1268 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:29,211 We love you, Mr. President. Thank you for saving us. 1269 01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:32,300 Please don't thank me. 1270 01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:35,882 It is Sam Brenner and his team who have brought us here to the brink of victory. 1271 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:38,242 and we understand You are celebrating an evening in his honor. 1272 01:08:38,560 --> 01:08:41,848 Is this a good idea when another attack occurs? could it be imminent? 1273 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,140 COOPER: There's no need to worry. 1274 01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:46,180 They will have their Arcader uniforms on under their tuxedos, 1275 01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:48,362 ready to go at any time. 1276 01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,220 And for the record, Hal, 1277 01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,369 I know it what several of those big words meant. 1278 01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:57,700 I drank some cold sanguine on my last trip to Mexico. 1279 01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:58,780 (ALL LAUGHTER) 1280 01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:00,609 Bite that, Hal! 1281 01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:03,724 ALL: (SINGING) You! You! You! You! You! 1282 01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:08,481 (TURN OFF THE TV) 1283 01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,722 I don't know what would be worse. 1284 01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,085 they failing, 1285 01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:18,140 or they actually achieve this. 1286 01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:19,620 WOMAN: What was that, Jim? 1287 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,087 Can you shut up for five seconds? 1288 01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,780 We need to increase the rate of fire. 1289 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:31,929 Now you have calculated That's in your beautiful mind, right? 1290 01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:35,768 BRENNER: There isn't. rhyme or reason for this game. 1291 01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:39,140 I mean, where are the patterns? He just attacks from left field. 1292 01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:42,289 Patterns? Is that why you were so good? With Pac-Man and Centipede? 1293 01:09:42,440 --> 01:09:43,780 Did you memorize the patterns? 1294 01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,660 Yes. The only way to beat these things. 1295 01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:48,820 Count the bullets, calculate the speed, do the numbers. 1296 01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:50,180 Where's the fun in that? 1297 01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:52,009 Oh, boy. Because? What do you do for a living? 1298 01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:55,164 You have to pretend you're the guy and you don't want to die. 1299 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:58,860 Yes, that sounds great. but it won't work always. 1300 01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,167 Well that's why you have its reset button. 1301 01:10:01,480 --> 01:10:03,642 Yeah, we didn't have them growing up. 1302 01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,060 The most violent game I have ever seen. 1303 01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,820 I don't think it's healthy for you. 1304 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,060 Alright. I can handle it. 1305 01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,447 No, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the friend. 1306 01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,327 (SHREAKING) So much blood! 1307 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,007 Yes. Hey. Do you know what will cheer you up? 1308 01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:20,900 - A cheese ball. - Q*BERT: Yes. 1309 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,001 Huh? 1310 01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:23,645 Come on, suck one. 1311 01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:25,970 - (DRINKS) - Take a handful. 1312 01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:31,203 That was simple. (Laughing) That was very soft. 1313 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,140 You know, we should Give him some exercise. 1314 01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,004 maybe throw it away On the trampoline for a while? 1315 01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:37,380 Q*BERT: Springboard! Trampoline! Trampoline! 1316 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:38,900 Well. How about he and I do that? 1317 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:42,049 while you go ask my mom To the dance tomorrow night? 1318 01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,647 Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother. 1319 01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:46,490 Q*BERT: Nonsense. 1320 01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:48,210 You're right, I am. Well. 1321 01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:49,850 Here. Finish these. 1322 01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:53,205 - You're getting chubby. - (Q*BERT LAUGHS) 1323 01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:55,966 - Hello. - (Q*BERT screaming) 1324 01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:57,687 Hello. 1325 01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,161 So... 1326 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:02,526 So... 1327 01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:03,881 Q*BERT: Wow! 1328 01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:06,841 (LAUGH) 1329 01:11:09,440 --> 01:11:10,700 I'm sorry! 1330 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,962 Q*BERT: Again! Again! Again! Again! 1331 01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:17,740 So I feel compelled to do an appearance on that thing tomorrow night. 1332 01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:19,620 I was wondering, when you got there, 1333 01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:23,420 if you would possibly like to hang out with me while I was there? 1334 01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:24,726 - Like a date? - Like a date, but... 1335 01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:25,860 - Oh! - Yes. 1336 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,380 I don't know about that. 1337 01:11:27,480 --> 01:11:29,780 I'm a snob. I have mental problems, so... 1338 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,060 Well you know, you are and you do, 1339 01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,686 But I'm willing to overlook that. at night. 1340 01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:36,140 Well. 1341 01:11:36,240 --> 01:11:37,526 - Are you going to? - Mmm-hmm. 1342 01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:41,687 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1343 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:52,685 MAN: Three, four. 1344 01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,291 01:14:56,540 "I used to stare at the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen, 1408 01:14:56,640 --> 01:15:00,740 "And now I'm stuck looking on the fish fillet sandwich. 1409 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:02,444 Did you just say I have pretty eyes? 1410 01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:04,529 While insulting the other girl. 1411 01:15:04,760 --> 01:15:08,220 Wow. That's really, really, really, really good. 1412 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:09,651 Thank you. 1413 01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,929 Can I have some of that? No? I thought we were splitting it up. 1414 01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:17,445 Hurrah! 1415 01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:21,620 I'm so glad we're almost there. 1416 01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:25,220 So sad they had to fade it away. 1417 01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:28,460 Everyone wants to rule the world. 1418 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:30,164 (COMMENT) 1419 01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:35,180 they want to govern 1420 01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:37,328 Why do they act so cruelly? 1421 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,820 You know, everyone says, 1422 01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,340 "Brenner this" and "Brenner that." 1423 01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:48,331 But make no mistake, Fire Blaster is the leader of this team. 1424 01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:50,124 Who is Fire Blaster again? 1425 01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:53,380 Yo, Serena! Okay, let me Just get to the point here. 1426 01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:55,420 Fire Blaster has been in prison for eight years. 1427 01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,126 He hasn't been with a woman since 2005. 1428 01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:02,460 You are in the best moment of your life. 1429 01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:05,260 You even think about touching me, I'm going to hit you against the wall. 1430 01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:07,124 Hmm. I wouldn't have it any other way. 1431 01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,082 I should have chosen Martha Stewart. 1432 01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:16,087 At least then I would have a delicious panini. cooked for me or something. 1433 01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:21,260 So what are you going to do? after all this? 1434 01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:23,362 Will you return to the Nerd Brigade? 1435 01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:24,681 Wow. 1436 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,740 Yes, yes, yes. 1437 01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:29,002 Probably. I mean... 1438 01:16:29,640 --> 01:16:30,801 What else would I do? 1439 01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:33,327 I mean, it just seems someone with your skills, 1440 01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:36,569 You'd better invent the technology. instead of installing it. 1441 01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:40,407 No, of course. I would love to do something different. 1442 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:42,500 You know, I had my chance 1443 01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:44,489 when I was a child in the arcades. 1444 01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:46,201 but 1445 01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:48,569 (CLICK TONGUE) I screwed up. 1446 01:16:49,080 --> 01:16:52,084 Yes, I always think that maybe my life it would have been different. 1447 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:55,300 Every time I'm on a roll, 1448 01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:58,961 or I feel like everything is going great, 1449 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:02,804 that giant ape throws another barrel towards me. 1450 01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:09,451 But everything is fine. Don't worry. 1451 01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:10,561 Hooyah. 1452 01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:12,201 Hooyah. 1453 01:17:13,320 --> 01:17:17,380 Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present a special message. 1454 01:17:17,480 --> 01:17:21,121 to the arcaders of PS 427 students 1455 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:23,250 in New York City. 1456 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:25,050 (PUBLIC APPLAUDING) 1457 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:28,767 CHORUS BOYS: New York was in trouble. 1458 01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:30,980 Pac-Man caused an uproar. 1459 01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:33,580 But the Arcaders saved us. 1460 01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,603 Because they are bad mothers... 1461 01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,130 (AUDIENCE MURMURING) 1462 01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:40,926 People of the Earth, 1463 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,481 you have violated The rules of war, boys. 1464 01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,171 Did you violate the rules? 1465 01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:48,881 Because of this, You lose and your planet is now ours. 1466 01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:54,084 Friends, in 12 hours, we will start with the total destruction of the Earth. 1467 01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:59,324 After that, we will sing this. about your precious planet. 1468 01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:03,700 (SINGING) She's gone 1469 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,565 You better learn to face... 1470 01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:09,367 - (PUBLIC MURMURING) - What the hell are you talking about? 1471 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:20,650 Where are you going, Fire Blaster? 1472 01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:22,780 Oh, hello, boy. Oh... 1473 01:18:22,880 --> 01:18:25,281 I told Serena I needed to get some air, you know? 1474 01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:27,140 I only met her half an hour ago. and she's already like, 1475 01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:29,641 “Mrs. Fire Blaster, this. Mrs. Fire Blaster, that." 1476 01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:33,643 A police officer pulled them out of the East River. the night you fell. 1477 01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,580 I was going to return them to you, 1478 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:38,809 but I saw some interesting things written on the inside of the lenses. 1479 01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:42,562 The Pac-Man cheat code for super speed. 1480 01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:44,883 - You're a cheater. - So what? 1481 01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:48,700 I used cheat codes in the past to help me master. 1482 01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,660 So I thought, why not use it? for the big show. And it worked. 1483 01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:53,762 Have you been a cheater your whole life? 1484 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,700 No. 1485 01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:58,060 Only since I was 10 years old. 1486 01:18:58,160 --> 01:19:02,324 That's how I beat your boy Brenner. in the World Championship. Oh yes. 1487 01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:04,005 (TAKES SUNGLASSES) 1488 01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,284 I owe everything I have to these damn shadows. 1489 01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:13,820 What did you do? 1490 01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,220 I didn't do anything. (STUTTERS) I thought we obeyed all the rules. 1491 01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:18,900 You thought wrong, civilian! 1492 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,180 We wasted our only chance with you! 1493 01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:22,660 A hi-fi repairer. 1494 01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:23,900 But I swear... 1495 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,368 But nothing! You heard Hall and Oates! You ruined it! 1496 01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:28,681 I have seen your files. 1497 01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:31,047 You've never made it one damn thing in your entire life. 1498 01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:34,300 Brenner won two battles, admiral. There are two more than you. 1499 01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:36,020 PORTER: I wouldn't understand. smart with me, colonel. 1500 01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:39,203 You were all over this sideshow that he did nothing more than wasting valuable time. 1501 01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:42,165 Sometimes I wonder if you're not working For the Martians yourself! 1502 01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:43,460 Die, admiral. 1503 01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:44,540 You're done. 1504 01:19:44,640 --> 01:19:46,380 Alright. Hi guys! That's enough. Hear. 1505 01:19:46,480 --> 01:19:48,244 - (DEEP RUMB) - We tried something. It didn't work. 1506 01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:49,721 01:22:42,561 (BEEP) 1554 01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:45,041 (ALL EXCLAIRING) 1555 01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:48,201 (STRIDENT) 1556 01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,180 (growling) 1557 01:22:56,280 --> 01:22:58,521 no one is better in the crane game I. 1558 01:22:58,840 --> 01:23:00,171 Chewie? 1559 01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:02,209 What's up with the costume, buddy? 1560 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,420 They tried to take me to some underground bunker, 1561 01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:06,204 So I went rogue. 1562 01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:11,929 Oh yes! 1563 01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:16,140 Wonder Kid, you must stay on the ground. These people need protection. 1564 01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,241 Oh, thank God. 1565 01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:20,006 Hey, live long, laugh much, love often. 1566 01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:21,300 Yes. 1567 01:23:21,400 --> 01:23:22,447 That's all. 1568 01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:24,300 No. 1569 01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:25,606 Make a backup. 1570 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,121 Thanks for being my friend. 1571 01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:30,091 Of course, friend. I love you. 1572 01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:32,083 Now go kick some ass. 1573 01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:37,087 Mr. President, Can I have a light cannon? 1574 01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:46,260 (SINGING) La la la la la la Sing a happy song 1575 01:23:46,360 --> 01:23:47,340 Oh. 1576 01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:48,441 La la la la la la 1577 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:55,968 Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf. 1578 01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,884 (BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING) 1579 01:24:09,480 --> 01:24:10,720 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 1580 01:24:12,960 --> 01:24:14,180 Hey! 1581 01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:16,328 Get away from those kids now! 1582 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:19,127 Please? 1583 01:24:19,320 --> 01:24:21,687 01:25:30,045 BRENNER: Okay. We're under this, Q*bert. And now what? 1597 01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:36,420 Well, well, well. 1598 01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:38,060 Look who's here. 1599 01:25:38,160 --> 01:25:40,020 Q*bert the traitor 1600 01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:42,300 and his unfaithful friends. 1601 01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:44,721 Are you here to beg for a second chance? 1602 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:48,327 You're in luck. The boss wants to meet you in person. 1603 01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:50,580 So get on! 1604 01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:55,580 If you defeat him, you save your planet. and destroy our warriors. 1605 01:25:55,680 --> 01:25:57,140 But if you lose... 1606 01:25:57,240 --> 01:25:58,844 (LAUGHS MANICALLY) 1607 01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:09,610 See you on the other side. 1608 01:26:20,560 --> 01:26:21,561 01:28:35,246 (grunts) 1634 01:28:37,560 --> 01:28:39,460 Donkey Kong. 1635 01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,562 The only game you suck at. 1636 01:28:41,720 --> 01:28:42,721 Yes. 1637 01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:45,248 - (growling) - MATTY: Mom, up here! 1638 01:28:46,200 --> 01:28:47,565 Matty! 1639 01:28:47,720 --> 01:28:48,846 Mother! 1640 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:50,650 Where the hell is my mom? 1641 01:28:50,840 --> 01:28:52,524 Let's get you, baby! 1642 01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:54,086 (grunts) 1643 01:28:58,720 --> 01:29:00,006 Q*BERT: Oh no. 1644 01:29:02,680 --> 01:29:04,569 (SHAKE) 1645 01:29:18,280 --> 01:29:19,660 01:30:22,001 I don't want to die! 1660 01:30:22,840 --> 01:30:24,490 I couldn't even beat Eddie Plant! 1661 01:30:24,640 --> 01:30:28,486 Eddie Plant is a cheater! That's why it was so good in New York. 1662 01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:30,688 Used cheat codes. 1663 01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:34,130 He did the same to you when you were children. 1664 01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:37,207 You know what that means, right? 1665 01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:43,490 I am donkey kong world champion. 1666 01:30:43,640 --> 01:30:46,371 And the Donkey Kong champion of the world does not need patterns. 1667 01:30:46,640 --> 01:30:47,641 Reset button. 1668 01:30:48,040 --> 01:30:50,202 ("WE ROCK YOU" VONLICHTEN PLAYING) 1669 01:30:53,680 --> 01:30:55,940 Dude, you're a kid, make a big noise. 1670 01:30:56,040 --> 01:30:59,180 playing in the street one day I will be a great man 1671 01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,780 You have mud on your face 1672 01:31:00,880 --> 01:31:02,211 BRENNER: Freeze, Chewie! 1673 01:31:02,680 --> 01:31:05,001 Kicking your can everywhere 1674 01:31:05,120 --> 01:31:08,920 - Singing - We will, we will shake you. 1675 01:31:09,200 --> 01:31:10,201 Brenner! 1676 01:31:11,520 --> 01:31:14,967 We will, we will rock you 1677 01:31:15,560 --> 01:31:16,561 (Joking applause) 1678 01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:19,042 Mom, mom! Q*bert is not dead! 1679 01:31:20,040 --> 01:31:22,008 Q*BERT: Help me! Help me! 1680 01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:24,362 No, I'm pretty sure he's dead, Matty. 1681 01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:25,521 Mother! 1682 01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:27,980 01:32:23,100 You loved saying that. 1700 01:32:23,200 --> 01:32:24,406 Yes, I did. 1701 01:32:27,120 --> 01:32:30,727 Brenner! Whatever you do, hurry up! 1702 01:32:39,320 --> 01:32:42,290 I've been waiting to do this since 1982. 1703 01:32:43,720 --> 01:32:44,767 (grunts) 1704 01:32:45,840 --> 01:32:46,841 (grunts) 1705 01:32:51,160 --> 01:32:52,924 (MOAN) 1706 01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:56,086 Yes! 1707 01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:57,810 Yes! Yes! 1708 01:32:57,960 --> 01:33:00,850 Q*BERT: (SONG) Oh, yeah. Oh yes. 1709 01:33:12,520 --> 01:33:14,522 Matty! Oh my god! 1710 01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:17,842 - Are you okay? - Yes. 1711 01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:20,003 You were so amazing down there! 1712 01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:23,120 You are my second favorite president. You know Obama is still my man, right? 1713 01:33:23,240 --> 01:33:24,526 Oh, okay. 1714 01:33:33,200 --> 01:33:35,885 Hey! We win! 1715 01:33:36,680 --> 01:33:38,125 No more taxes! 1716 01:33:38,320 --> 01:33:39,340 (EDDIE LAUGHS) 1717 01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:41,169 We did it, baby! 1718 01:33:41,520 --> 01:33:42,885 We did it. 1719 01:33:43,040 --> 01:33:44,166 No. 1720 01:33:44,720 --> 01:33:46,700 No, no! 1721 01:33:46,800 --> 01:33:49,620 Lady Lisa! 1722 01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:51,882 No! 1723 01:34:08,680 --> 01:34:10,860 Eddie, I never thought I'd see you again. 1724 01:34:10,960 --> 01:34:14,580 Brenner, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Cheating back in the day when we were kids, 1725 01:34:14,680 --> 01:34:17,060 and for cheating again more recently. (LAUGHTER) 1726 01:34:17,160 --> 01:34:18,980 I'm not going back to prison for that, right? 1727 01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:22,209 No, but you have to admit it to Brenner. which is the best in the world. 1728 01:34:22,440 --> 01:34:24,169 (WANTED) Eh, no way. 1729 01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:25,401 Prison. 1730 01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:27,850 (he laughs awkwardly) 1731 01:34:29,040 --> 01:34:30,246 Brenner, 1732 01:34:33,080 --> 01:34:34,684 you are the best 1733 01:34:36,040 --> 01:34:37,405 in the world 1734 01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:40,927 in (CLEARS THROAT) Donkey Kong. 1735 01:34:41,720 --> 01:34:42,980 That's how it is. Am. 1736 01:34:43,080 --> 01:34:44,844 Ludlow. What's wrong with you, friend? 1737 01:34:45,440 --> 01:34:47,681 I finally had the only thing I wanted 1738 01:34:48,400 --> 01:34:50,402 and now I am completely alone again. 1739 01:34:50,680 --> 01:34:53,420 Lady Lisa, she made an appearance. 1740 01:34:53,520 --> 01:34:58,447 And while you were away, you know, By saving the world, you somehow destroyed theirs. 1741 01:34:59,120 --> 01:35:00,610 Oh, that's horrible. 1742 01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:04,288 It's just, how does he stay? Why are you still here? 1743 01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:06,050 I'm sorry. 1744 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:07,565 Q*bert is a trophy. 1745 01:35:07,760 --> 01:35:09,444 And I guess we'll keep the trophies. 1746 01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:11,081 Yes. 1747 01:35:12,200 --> 01:35:13,201 (snorts) 1748 01:35:13,880 --> 01:35:15,006 Q*BERT: Oh. 1749 01:35:19,480 --> 01:35:21,528 (MUSKING) 1750 01:35:22,600 --> 01:35:24,204 Q*bert, what's up? 1751 01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:39,001 Oh. 1752 01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:43,322 Wait, no one else is surprised by this? That was just Q*bert. 1753 01:35:43,480 --> 01:35:45,323 - REPORTER: Mr. President! Please! - Yes, Renee. 1754 01:35:45,480 --> 01:35:47,562 RENEE: Mr. President, Are we out of danger? 1755 01:35:47,760 --> 01:35:50,161 Yes. In fact, I am pleased to announce 1756 01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:53,802 I have negotiated a peace treaty with the alien invaders. 1757 01:35:56,160 --> 01:35:59,164 This peace is due and only due to 1758 01:35:59,320 --> 01:36:01,527 the bravery of the Arcaders, 1759 01:36:01,920 --> 01:36:05,811 who, against all odds, He stepped forward and saved us all. 1760 01:36:06,760 --> 01:36:08,060 eddie plant, 1761 01:36:08,160 --> 01:36:09,900 Ludlow Lamonsoff, 1762 01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:11,365 Sam Brenner, 1763 01:36:11,520 --> 01:36:13,966 and Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten 1764 01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:15,965 They are American heroes. 1765 01:36:16,640 --> 01:36:18,051 World heroes. 1766 01:36:18,480 --> 01:36:19,580 (APPLAUSE) 1767 01:36:19,680 --> 01:36:20,681 Yes! 1768 01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:24,044 "World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore. 1769 01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:25,884 you don't love me stop being a nerd, never. 1770 01:36:26,600 --> 01:36:27,860 (LAUGHTER) Why is that? 1771 01:36:27,960 --> 01:36:31,043 Because like I said, Nerds are the best kissers. 1772 01:36:31,960 --> 01:36:33,962 I'll be the judge of that. 1773 01:36:38,520 --> 01:36:39,760 (GIVE UP PLAYING) 1774 01:36:40,960 --> 01:36:43,088 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 1775 01:36:52,880 --> 01:36:55,620 Mom told me Yes, she told me 1776 01:36:55,720 --> 01:36:59,247 That I would meet girls like you 1777 01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:01,700 she also told me 1778 01:37:01,800 --> 01:37:06,727 Absent You'll never know what you'll catch 1779 01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:13,531 Just the other day I heard of the fall of a soldier 1780 01:37:13,640 --> 01:37:19,522 Some Indonesian trash out there 1781 01:37:21,120 --> 01:37:24,700 Mommy is fine, daddy is fine 1782 01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:28,247 They just seem a little weird. 1783 01:37:28,360 --> 01:37:31,700 Give up, give up 1784 01:37:31,800 --> 01:37:36,806 But don't give yourself away 1785 01:37:37,560 --> 01:37:40,404 Hey, hey 1786 01:37:43,800 --> 01:37:45,882 (BIRDS CHIRING) 1787 01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:51,580 LUDLOW: Hello, children. Dad is at home. 1788 01:37:51,680 --> 01:37:54,020 - Q*BERT BABY - Q*BERT BABY 1789 01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:56,140 - Dad! Dad! - Dad! Dad! 1790 01:37:56,240 --> 01:37:58,242 Dad! Dad! 1791 01:37:59,840 --> 01:38:01,251